It would not be an RSA Conference without buzzwords. Let’s check out the buzziest of the buzzwords for 2017.
AI (Artificial Intelligence): Virtual employees we can work to death, who will then work to put us all to death.
Automation: Finally, technology that will put us all out of work. Oh wait, that’s bad. But it comes with free frozen yogurt, that’s good. The yogurt is cursed, that’s bad.
Behavior: Do as McAfee says, not as they do.
Blockchain: A potent type of weed that Erlich Bachman smokes on Silicon Valley.
Business-Driven Security: A new approach to incident management that uncovers advanced persistent sources of income for Dell.
Chaos: We know chaos, we have the best chaos in the world, truly remarkable chaos, huge, the finest, most supreme chaos there is, hand-picked from my personal collection of chaotic lunacy. Sad.
Cloud Native: Built exclusively for venture capital investment.
Contextualization: Understanding the complex and volatile set of data that explains why the SIEM you bought is a waste of money.
CrowdStrike: Did those big meanies at NSS Labs make you look bad? Do you need a safe space?
Crypto Ransomware: Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile.
Deception: This is not the vulns you are looking for. Move along.
DevSecOps: a hip new pub where Millennials hang out and talk about what they should be doing.
Fabric: Something you can stretch over your artificial intelligence and stain it with machine learning until it rips open to expose your blockchain.
IoT: UoT! We all OT, so FOAD.
Kill Chain: The sequence of events that gets you fired.
Machine Learning: Another way to say “it’s all magic.”
Managed Detection and Response (MDR): Engaging a third party to hunt through your environment and discover how lazy your IT people really are.
Orchestration: Come together, right now, over me.
Shifting Left: Let’s make code great again.
Systemization: Something that costs you $295 an hour.
Threat Intelligence: Incoherent ranting on Twitter.
Verticalization: Lifting up people so they are so specialized, their opinions no longer matter.
Weaponization: Something that costs nothing, except your soul.